Porn by Barton Polly;

Author:Barton, Polly;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fitzcarraldo Editions
Published: 2023-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

TEN

Ten is a gay trans man in his thirties.

TEN — In lots of the movies I watched as a kid or a teenager, there would be coming of age scenes where the boys go through sexual awakenings by finding a magazine. I always wondered: Why never the girls? When the girls do get to do it, it’s always a boy doing it to them, whereas boys get to have this adventure with themselves or with each other, conspiratorially finding porn stashes or whatever in the woods. Why is there always porn in the woods? I was always jealous of the boys getting to come of age and have sexual awakenings.

POLLY BARTON — That’s reflected in the discourse around it too. It seemed like boys at school were often talking about this stuff. Even if wasn’t in a ‘these are my true feelings about pornography’ way, it was still a topic of discussion, and it’s commonly understood that as a teenage boy you are constantly masturbating.

And talking about which girls in class you want to bonk.

I imagine it’s difficult being part of that as a boy if you’re not particularly sexually desirous or you’re queer. But growing up as a girl, I couldn’t talk about any of that stuff.

The idea that girls have sex drives is still a weird concept to some people. I remember, in high school, when I got my first boyfriend, my thought process was not: He’s cute, I want to have sex with him. My thought process was: He’s cute, I would let him have sex with me.

Sex is a thing that’s done to you.

All of my early sexual experiences are tainted by the fact that I had these gender issues. I totally ignored my genitalia for so long, until it started bleeding. I was like, Oh, you’re supposed to wash that? I was not engaged at all, so even the idea of trying to masturbate didn’t occur to me until guys were telling me, You should masturbate. In college I had friends who’d say, ‘You’ve never gotten off? You should try it.’ It was one of my friends in college who told me how one of the girls he knew got off. Eventually, when I was nineteen, I ended up trying her thing and it worked. I was not at all oriented towards any of that for so long.

I watch a lot of videos and get off to them, but they’re not necessarily porn. The stuff that I get off to doesn’t traditionally have to do with sex at all, actually. Ethically, it’s kind of a grey zone, because some of the videos are edited to be porn, but from videos that are not porn at all. So you’re consuming people’s other videos as porn, which is weird. Porn itself is not that interesting to me, just gross most of the time. It reminds me of how biological and dirty sex is – not morally, but in a physical way. All the juicy stuff is gross. I hate getting stuff on my hands, or anything wet or sticky.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.